transformation....Develop the length of a dancer-who me?

"Develop the length of a dancer
and the strength of an athlete
with our highly effective 60-minute workouts.
Each class follows a thoughtful sequence for fast body shaping results
and long term postural benefits."
From barre3 website home page.


On a side street off A Avenue in Lake Oswego** the transformation began on March 31, 2011 and I posted a blog about that first class on April 8th...and in my true Type A style - I obsessed about taking classes as my I moved with increasing muscle soreness  in the belief that soon, very soon that would be but a memory and I would just take the classes, enjoy them and wake up one day with new streamlined body. (Hahahahahaha....she laughed.)  (**NOTE: this is only 1 of 3 locations here in the Portland area. There are also classes in other major cities, Bellevue/Seattle, WA, Denver CO, and soon to be in WDC. Check the barre3 website for other locations.)

On any given day my body aches in every conceivable muscle - and it's not the large muscles that appear to be affected. No siree, it's those tiny muscles under the bigger muscles that ache. And it is not symmetrical this soreness I feel...although each group of muscles does get a workout each class. I have a few tiny mad muscles that continue to tell me exactly where they are at - who knew there were so many tiny hidden muscles. I can now do push-ups....not 100, but 10 and that's something for me. I hate push-ups.

That is the beauty of barre3...at least for me. Each class has been different, each instructor has their own style and variations on the body shaping sequence, and although I have taken the same time slot/instructor, NO two classes have been identical - a huge plus!  I am easily bored. I need variety. So I change it up between the basic and the foundations classes. Being supported and encouraged to challenge yourself, AND to listen to your own body...be present in class for yourself and only for yourself. Class sizes are small, pre-registered enabling the instructor to provide direction, correction and encouragement...winning!

Now just over 2 full months of classes - going 3-4x a week...I am re-visiting biceps and triceps that disappeared about 6 years ago. My glutes are becoming more toned, I have a stronger core. My chiropractor is liking the new me. I feel terrific...I am sleeping better and my appetite is shrinking. Who knew a ballet-barre, yoga strap, a squishy ball and 1-lb barbells would be so loved. Madonna is a fan...yes that Madonna. (there I said it, and I'll bend over and pick up the name I just dropped.) I don't have the body of a dancer (secret ambition: NYC Rockette as a child) yet...but maybe, just maybe sometime in the future.

Last week one of the instructors actually commented on how my body was transforming right before her eyes. (shhhh, don't tell anyone, I like her the best!) Of course, now that the transformation is occurring I am leaving town for an extended RV trip through Yellowstone and Calgary...I am fully prepared to at least manage my renewed self with the 40 min DVD version in hopes of keeping the return-to-class aches to a minimum. Don't laugh - it could happen.

Check back in August for an update.

(Ask about the 3 class special, or when they are having another athletic wear trunk show. If you want to confuse them, tell them I sent you. )

Ciao~

I've been down that road...

Today, after my morning meditation I turned on GMA to find a beautiful young woman speaking about her experience on the reality show Extreme Makeover-Weight Loss Edition (another one of those programs I avoid like the plague). It's been all over the air waves via commercials, and apparently premiered last night. She indicated that over the last year she lost 161 lbs, and currently was down another 30lbs. Congratulations! I can so identify.

I know from my own personal experience how weight, especially being overweight can affect you - even long term, even when you no longer carry around the extra pounds. In my case, an extra 100 lbs...at the same age as this young woman (I believe her name is Rachel), I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia - but frankly I was just fat, today I would have been considered obese. A total change in lifestyle was needed and fast. My 5'6" frame was a staggering 210, a size 16. Gulp.

As a child I was chubby...adorable at 2, sad and bully material after the age of 10. My parents liked to say "you are just big boned"...ah, no I am not. Elephants, rhinos and hippos are "big boned", which  in my head translated to "you are a hippo". I was overweight as a child, a teen and a young adult. I was tormented/bullied at school to the point of tears. I was ridiculed at home for eating too much - I was never instructed, schooled or treated for my fat-ness. (As I was raised by wolves,  I so understand this today.) It wasn't until a doctor gave me the information about what was wrong and what I could do about it did I make the necessary changes. I was 21 years old.

I started by changing my diet to a high protein, low carb diet Monday through Saturday. I walked a lot. It wasn't until about 3 years later that I joined a women's gym. Sundays were a day where I could eat whatever forbidden food I wanted - with one caveat. I had the smallest possible portion and only one serving. If I wanted to have pie for dessert, it was a thin slice. Mash potatoes: a serving spoon portion. A cookie, was just 1 cookie - not a dozen. I took the weight off slowly, having started in October I was down 100 lbs by July. I had lost so much weight my grandmother was concerned that I was dying. I finally had ankles. Don't laugh, when you've never had ankles - seeing them below your knees is a huge miracle.

Being overweight in a thin world is akin to being blind or deaf in a seeing/hearing world. My father was 6"3" and lean. My youngest sister would become as tall and as lean. I was compared to them a lot. I was also miserable at home, stemming from other issues, but nonetheless - miserable and alone.There wasn't nearly the pressure then as there is today on "being thin", I get it. It doesn't make it any less painful today as it was in the 60's. Being overweight, even a little...SUCKS. The physical toll is pretty obvious, but the emotional toll is life long. Even today I still have body image issues, not every day...but I continue to work at changing my internal thought process around to meet the reality.

My demons don't haunt me anymore...oh, occasionally one will surface and I'll wave it off with a salute and a nod, "I see you - now go away". Shoo.  Oh, I still have body image issues, I do not know of a woman alive who doesn't, every once in a while. We don't want to admit it but they are there -lurking. When dining out,  I still read all of the menu selections before ordering the salad, dressing on the side and obsess on dessert until it's actually time to order it and then I remember who I m today and how I continue to squeeze into those size 8 jeans I love so much.  I remember how it took me several years to stop going directly to the size 16 dress rack at major department stores to dress my new body.

So it was wonderful to see and hear this young woman talk about her year of change on GMA. Changing what foods she ate, exercising every day and discovering who she was underneath the pain of being obese. Or in her case, "super obese"...(where were these shows when I needed the help?) I didn't watch the show so I don't know what her particular demons are/were, apparently she acknowledged them and is now aware of her triggers. I hope she will be able to continue her journey. I hope she has put into place a defense mechanism that will sound the needed alerts around: the people who will attempt to sabotage her, a day of low self-esteem and a car that will drive as if on auto-pilot to the nearest donut shop or against all possible odds - a credit card and a fully charged cell phone to order in.

The monkey might be off my back, but the circus is still in town. Cookie anyone?

~Ciao

Finding True Love? or Finding Fame

As irritated as I am, I can't seem to come up with an opening sentence for my latest rant...so I will just say - THE BACHELORETTE and The Bachelor must go!

I am no fan of the original show: The Bachelor, which made it's debut in 2002. I will admit to watching the very first episode and cheered when a beautiful Mid-Eastern woman stood up and announced that she was eliminating herself - her words were along the lines of "I know you won't be selecting me, I'm the token non-white". And that was the end for me as well, I didn't even finish watching that episode. Here it is 9 years later and unbelievably it is still on! Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bachelor_(TV_series) for the statistics of bad boy behavior and how they all fared. It's not pretty, but predictable for sure. I'm not that righteous, I just refuse to participate in the demeaning of women - even when these very women 'sign-up' for the event.

Where do I begin? To state the obvious .... do we know a young woman who got up one morning and said "when I grow up I want to be a contestant on the Bachelorette"...I think not. In my 20's I had no self-esteem...clearly I had more than the women who not only sign up to compete against each other over a man in front of millions of people. Really? You want to show the world how truly sad you are?  Where are the feminists screaming for this show to be removed? Are we really teaching the young women of America that the way to find their 'soul mate' is by mass dating for one guy on TV in front of the world?

What is so charming and appealing about a man saying he "wets the bed", or is so drunk or tired that he falls asleep during your first meeting (per recent promo commercials) that screams "pick me, pick me"?  And the other side is - she is crying about how "I didn't believe I would be hurt again so soon"  in the first episode - or words similar. The first episode has you in tears? The commercials alone are enough to make me want to heave my most recent meal.

I just don't get this fascination with watching train wrecks on TV. If 25 women are chosen for a "season" that means that several hundred applied to be part of the train, for something like 15 seasons....and then if one of them is the runner-up or in the case of one recent finalist - engagement broken off on live TV and the runner up is chosen - you then get the opportunity to mass date 25 males on your own train - is it really love that you are looking for or the attention that this will bring you for about 15 minutes. I mean, seriously, the only woman I remember surviving the train wreck is Tristan  - mainly because she's the one that got married out of all of the shows. So that tells me that young women are looking for the fame they believe they may find on one of these dating shows. It amazes me that bright, beautiful and talented young women sink to this level, just for fame.

The saddest part of all of this is that these shows are popular. America's willingness to watch this fluff and sign up to participate only promotes it's longevity...when I googled searched it I discovered that over 484K people "Like" this on Facebook...that's almost the entire number of members. I can proudly say that I was NOT one of them. And I won't be doing so in the future...however, I will dance the day their cancel the shows.

Young women everywhere: If you feel the need to compete - join a sports team, run a marathon, challenge yourself to achieving your dream of higher education, saving the planet one person/animal/plant at a time - compete for something that matters. Just when you aren't looking - Mr. Right will appear. I know - it happened for me.

~Ciao

Sensible Shoes? oh, pluzeeeeee

Recently, I had a girlfriend  lament about her possible restriction to "sensible shoes" - largely due to a hip replacement surgery. It got me to thinking about shoes in general and what my reaction would be in the same situation. These days I live in flip flops, sneakers, cowboy boots and clogs...and I have about 8 pairs of heels that I can not retire to the Goodwill bag. Only the clogs would be considered a candidate for the 'sensible shoes' label. Bare, naked, shoe-less...happy toes is my real preference. But I digress.

We are not 'shoe' young anymore - she and I both love shoes. As a surgical nurse, she wore good solid sensible shoes to work, flip flops around the house, yard and beach town. When I think of her in regular street clothes or a pretty summer dress - she is either in flip flops or tres chic open toed pumps....the occasional tennis shoe that has seen better days. Shoes with character...

(My chiropractor would suggest that I haven't been "shoe" young for many, many years. At least, as far as the shoe to the left is concerned. But what does he know, really - he is after all, a man.)


This would be an example of a shoe I would wear....love, love, love this shoe. Ridiculously too high, right? But stunning and what's more - your legs look stunning in them. The very young can wear this shoe. When I am standing in front of this shoe or one like it, my head tells me that I am that young. And I want to be able to wear this shoe. And, of course, not be in pain. This is a 'shoe' young shoe.

I can not imagine anyone not wanting this shoe - or one just like it. My younger self did not envision that there would come a day that I would not be able to physically be in that shoe. I wasn't ever going to be that old. Of course, I saw the elderly women at the store, on the bus, at the doctor's office...all wearing those industrial strength 'sensible shoes' and telling myself that I would not become one of them! Black, thick soled - with laces. Yikes. Some man designed those ugly shoes. Off with his head, I say.

Of course there are shoes that I wouldn't be caught in, dead or alive. I have never been a sling-back kind of girl. Not really crazy for open-toed pumps either. Mary Janes...only the black patent leather MJ's that Manolo Blahnik designed would do...aren't they divine? Even at $645 they are divine...wonder if I could live in them?

Manolo Blahnick Mary Jane

Lady Gaga - S. McQueen Shoes

This is not a shoe that I would wear...reminds me of lobster oven mitts...you can add all the rhinestones and sequins you want - not buying into the myth. But one must give it up to the woman who can and does wear shoes such as this....Lady Gaga. She has graced the world stage with the most bizarre array of high platform shoes that only those with remarkable body awareness and the ability to balance would be able to carry the look off. No one I know could or should strut their stuff in lobster mitts unless of course they just signed a recording deal.

So, I 've decided not to surrender 100% to the 'sensible shoe' model. What my chiropractor doesn't know won't hurt either of us. I just wish I had somewhere fabulous to go that demanded wearing red high heels...even it is in the spirit of Oprah - wearing shoes to sit in.

Ciao~

new bike to road test = butt butter?

yesterday is was Beautiful outside....got to 70 degrees. definitely time for a road test of our new x-country bikes. embarrassing to admit, but outside a single short ride on a borrowed bike in December i have not been on a bike for 35+ years...and i never had a bike with gears. ????? what are those and how do they work?

i never had a 2-wheeler. that astonished my husband....i can briefly remember a tricycle in a long ago Christmas setting but never got a 2 wheel bike and where we lived i sure could have used one. (mainly to flee...maybe they knew that)

we do this road test in our neighborhood which has a series of 'greenway' paths for runners and bikers, the assorted dog walkers and baby strolling parents. of course we decide to divert off the path and into a unknown neighborhood, up and down - emphasis on the down - which causes me to ask about the FLAT return home. to which my prince charming says "it's all downhill from here" (w/grin.)
at some point in the process my seat got moved to a higher position ensuring that i would not be able to touch the ground and have contact with the seat...not a comforting thought given my less than confident first time outing.

as i said a bit earlier, not familiar with gears. apparently my bike has 3 for the front wheel and 6 for the back one. who designs these things? trying to go uphill with 1 (front) and 7 (back) is hard  and my legs were complaining, as was my mouth apparently; until mr. p.charming says...both should be 1 - 1...OH! i then find i am halfway up the hill and i have no control over the pedals, let alone the wheels/tires to pavement! scared? not me....i am laughing so hard over the visual i see in my head of the clown car like sight i was creating for the folks out in their yards, that i literally can not pedal and fall to the left. unhurt and still laughing i have to walk my bike to the corner because i can not get on the now too high seat AND i am laughing.

triathlete friend WB recently informed me of 'butt butter' - newsflash WB, it's not my derriere that is in need of soothing this weekend. but thank you for the fascinating insights of long distance bikers and their backsides. (hugs and love!)

and yes i know that helmet looks stupid now that i see the photo.it's job is to save my head from connecting with cement...pity it can't be attractive AND meet OSHA requirements.

dancing, dancing, dancing....what's not to love

it's the morning after and i am arm-chair quarter-backing DWTS! (also known as a rant :-D) If you have just emerged from under a rock I have included a 'about' link (above). I am an unabashed fan of the show. I use my votes.



that's me!

 Yep, love the dancing shows. As a child, "back-in-the-day", I took tap, ballet (including toe) dancing. And I watched the Championship Ballroom Dance Competition on PBS, hosted by Juliet Prowse, during the 80's and 90's. (Tragically, Ms. Prowse died from pancreatic cancer at 59.) Loved watching the professionals compete.
 
Now that I have qualified my love of dancing...
 
The first 3-4 weeks of DWTS is always interesting, hilarious and a great "train-wreck" to watch. Remember "Master P's" appearance and his flat-footed stomp around the floor, or Cloris Leachman - who I adore and admire for her gumption - made us laugh and clap during her romps around the floor. This season's "I do NOT have rhythm and walk like a robot" award went to Wendy Williams. True she wasn't the first causality, that honor went to Mike Catherwood, although in my opine - she should have been the first to go, as it was just painful to watch. Yes she had personality - but she could NOT dance. (this is a dance competition, not a personality contest)
 
So my rant today is about the 'dumb blonde' act of Kendra...she needs to 'G.O. AWAY".

Watching her attempt to dance makes me want to scream "my eyes, my eyes", to hear her complain during the judges' remarks and then make excuses is akin to 'nails on a chalkboard'. The fact that she is paid to have a reality show is astonishing to me. Really America? There is so little passably good  programming to watch that you sink to watching an ex-Playboy bunnie at home? Even old sit-coms on TVLand would be a step up. "Oh, Kendra, sweetie..." ballroom dancing is both elegant and sexy and can be accomplished with grace, laughter and practice, practice, practice. If you had spent more time with the latter and less about whining about what you 'aren't' you might have discovered that. Everyone on the show has the same number of days to perfect their dance, or wait - they actually used the time to learn it without whining!  Even Kirstie, who had a painful hip, managed to score higher than you and she lost a shoe!

And lets not forget the music last night was wonderful! A full 46 member orchestra...playing the classical themes to Swan Lake, the Harry Potter franchise, etc...delightful and classy.

Hopefully America feels the same way and votes her off tonight...

True I don't watch the usual reality TV shows. This includes the Bachelor (gag), The Amazing Race, Survivor and that train wreck - Kate show with the kids (not sure what the current name is). And I don't put this show into that category, although I am sure that some would disagree. (Isn't America great that way.)

Now I'll take myself off to watch PBS's Masterpiece Theatre from Sunday night and later to watch the DWTS results show. My love affair continues.

Ciao~

The good, the bad - the "exercise" ugly

I'm in pain today...the second day after a new exercise class. It's that type of pain that you think/hope will not be as severe as say walking on fire or the last time it was days/weeks/months of non-activity and then you exercised and woke up 2 days later - in pain. However, backstory first...

We all have fitness goals - yes, even those obviously overweight people you see at the grocery store, carts loaded with carbs, ice cream, cigarettes and wine - which you have judged as those without fitness goals. Their goal is to do everything that isn't 'fitness' related - to some that is a goal. It just isn't mine.

I am one of those people who has flirted with fitness/exercise my entire life. As an overweight tomboy t'ween I was into softball games, tether ball, and roller skating (pre-rollerblading) with kids of the neighborhood. In high school I as a PE assistant basketball coach, which I really liked and I loved gymnastics. I detested, loathed and avoided any track and field sport which meant no running....but then I was a social cigarette smoker - so running was out!!! As you can see, I was conflicted, I really don't like to exercise, don't like sore muscles or getting sweaty. But I am drawn to sports... and am also lazy.

In the ensuing years I have learned to play tennis, golf, and ski. I've taught yoga and Jane Fonda-style fitness classes. I have joined gyms and hired trainers to get me into shape, and  I've even considered becoming a "fitness instructor", but life and circumstances intervened. I even stopped smoking 20+ years ago and got to the point where I was running 25-30 miles a week. Still did't like exercise - it's hard work,  but I was committed to the benefits. I even did 'hot yoga' 4 times a week for 18 months - and that is work what with counting the travel time,  it is like a 3 hour commitment - to stretch.

Yes, I know all the benefits from exercise. I actually LIKE all the benefits I get from exercise. The sleeping better, weight management, the clean, sharp lines of toned muscles, feeling great - all good things. Doesn't make me love exercise though.  I have yet to experience the endophin highs that some claim exist when exercising - if only that would have happen maybe I would have fallen in love with exercise. ('Sigh'). And because I don't LOVE exercise I go through periods where I can workout and be consistent, until I'm not. Never know when it will occur, neither the doing or the not doing.

Once I moved to the suburbs, got married and went back to school, walking became my exercise. (oh, and in fact my knees finally gave out - no more running for me, EVER.) Last year when I quit working I re-joined a neighborhood gym...only to discover that I didn't want to throw weights around or stand in line 30 minutes to get into the already over-booked yoga/zumba/bike classes. So here I was again, walking for exercise and doing some in-home stretches - lamenting how flabby I was becoming and wishing I could find something that I wanted to do enough to join in again.

I had become one of 'those' people: having relegated "serious" physical exercise to the bottom of the priority list. Afterall, I was exercising...walking a few miles every day is exercise. Then last November led me to a Groupon purchase for Barre3 classes, "where ballet barre meets yoga and pilates". Fast forward to last Thursday and the exercise class that is now my new obsession.

And today it is the exercise ugly - where my legs feel like tree stumps and I groan like an old man when I try to sit or stand up. Oh, I feel other muscle groups when they are engaged, but sitting/standing/kneeling require thigh muscles - ones that are use to moving with ease and flexibility without having to support yourself with the help of walls and pieces of furniture. There is no ease or grace of movement as I sway side to side like a robot until my muscles warm up enough to walk like humans were meant to walk...normally. It is that type of pain that actual feels good in it's painfulness. I know, I know I could have taken the easier, softer way and not joined in with "my over-the-top, type-A personality or I'm not old/out-of-shape/too flabby" head thinking and felt less pain today. That was an option that appeared and I dismissed in short order. I mean, the monkey may be off my back, but the circus is still in town. And I'm the ringmaster.

I just do not do half measures, even when pain is the obvious outcome. I have too many blessings to not count this pain as one of them. My legs still work, as do my lungs and heart. I have scheduled my next class for Monday...hoping for more good than ugly by Tuesday. In the meantime, ice packs and ibuprofen are my new BFFs.

Ciao~

R.I.P. Ms Taylor

Got out of the shower today to the GMA news announcing Elizabeth Taylor's passing earlier this morning. My immediate thought was one of disbelief, truly I was just stunned to hear this. No one gets out of this gig alive, however,my nutty brain has pigeon-holed ideas and expectations. And my expectation is that some people never grow old or die. Ms. Taylor fell into both categories. I don't know why, other than she was possibly the first 'movie star' that grabbed my attention and while I would see a photos of her over the years and it was clear that she was in fact getting older ~ I was apparently in denial - if she was getting older than so was I. Clearly this is just wrong.




My first memory of her was the big news story that she and Richard Burton made during the filming of Cleopatra...she and Burton's love affair was scandalous. It was on the TV and in the Seattle Times newspaper! It was "sinful"... Both were married to other people and they carried it out in public, relatively unheard of in the 1960's. Loads of tongue-wagging for sure...even today their love affair/relationship is considered over-the-top, which is saying a lot given the Brad & Anjolie coverage, Lindsay Lohan's quarterly front page headlines and the daily rantings of one Charlie Sheen.

I admire her creation and work on behalf of the American Aids Foundation, and it never occurred to me that she was politically on the right until she married (and helped get a Senate seat ) John Warner. Truthfully, I did not see that coming.

I do remember some of the Barbara Walter interviews that have, over the years, given us a window into who she really was off the silver screen, brawdy humor and all. Having been married more than once myself I understand that path all too well ~ however, she never seemed to have gotten that role down - I rather like that about her. She too was imperfect in ordinary, common ways. And yet she was extraordinarily beautiful...

Thank you Ms. Taylor for leaving us with memories of glamor, style and class...I have not seen all of her films - think I will see what is now available at the library. Heaven awaits your arrival, may you not be disappointed in who is or isn't there. You really were a 'Dame' in every sense of the word.

Dame Elizabeth Taylor rest in peace.

Ciao~

Community~~~~the center is in my head....

Currently I am sitting inside out RV - space #53 of Gilbert Ray State Park, SW Tucson area. It's been gorgeous outside, although the wind is gusting at a good clip. Lola and Lucy are both asleep in their baskets, conveniently located in front of windows with the Sun warming our space.  Saguaros surround our space, we have a long distance view of the valley below us. 

I have a blessed life. It's true - I do. However, lately it feels,  well-unfulfilled.  There is something I am suppose to be doing and I have yet to figure that piece out. Recently in meditation the awareness that something was missing  was revealed. It feels like a longing, it haunts me. Am I imagining it? I don't think so.  I have  for years had a desire to work as some sort of exercise instructor and I could never figure out how to support myself with that as a job…so I'd let it go. Whether it was yoga or aerobics the desire didn't leave.  It still hasn't, so when we get home I'm going to do a bit of investigation to see what is available in my town to become a yoga instructor.

In tree or dog years - I am old. Inside I feel much, much younger…so I drift off into the world of yoga teacher training and wonder whether I could "that"? Not so much to support myself, but as a means of community as we travel. It would also keep me engaged in fitness outside the 3-4 mile walks that  my husband and I do together.

'Community'  has become a new word for me. Last week over laundry I met another woman, a few years older than I, as we did our laundry.  Funny thing about laundry facilities….no matter who you are, laundry evens the playing field. Everyone has dirty laundry…doing it in RV parks is a bit easier than some of those suburban coin operated places that one approaches with care.  I digress…Back to community  with Lenore, she and her husband are from Wisconsin and have now spent the last 3 winters  in the Tombstone area of AZ, for a variety of reasons which they compromised to reach.  She used the word community and it resonated.  I also felt an instant connection with her - which at the time felt odd, as I think of myself as a bit of a loner.

At home I have a 'community' of women and activities that I miss.  I am wanting to create that for myself on the road - teaching a yoga class when we are parked for a period of time would be a way to engage that concept.  At least the exploration will stimulate new dendrites and maybe a larger community for me.

Ciao~